Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Getting to the Words

He wants to say. She wants to say. She doesn't want them to say.

Start with the 1928 Episcopal Book of Common Prayer. You’ll find the wedding vows from the movies and our memories. That’s what P wanted for his. K, on the other hand, found the Jesus stuff a big stifling.

By that version, the avant garde Episcopals had already dropped the woman pledging to obey hubby. Yet that didn’t quite cut it.

We negotiated. I grabbed the old version and modified it a bit for K’s intent. Then we went through three iterations of editing and fine-tuning. It was close to the oldie, but modernized and secularized.

I can mail a copy with the names blank for those who want to use it as a starting point. Contact me at massmarier@yahoo.com.

Because the designation of solemnization certification must go with the marriage license to the county for its records, I scanned it. The couple ended up with a leather binder containing the vows, the scanned certificate, and blank pages for wishes and comments of those attending.

Our only regret was the recalcitrance of K's now P&K's pubescent daughter. She was actively involved in every phase of planning, down to creating the individual floral pieces at each place. She made all the adults mist and her mother cry with her speech as we took turns. She spoke of thinking of a big heart when she thought of mom and dad. K was openly crying. However, afterwards, her daughter could not or would not recall the unwritten words for the book. Pity.

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