Sunday, May 29, 2011

It's Time to Make the Marriage

In one week, I'll have a married son. Coincidentally, I'll perform the marriage.

Many have told me and I can believe that it's different for a dad when his daughter marries. There's that long-established jealousy/protectiveness mode kicking in for most fathers. Here, my wife is sort of a surrogate for the bride's mom in Albuquerque, who has been here to cook for the reception and is about to arrive for the final wedding preparations.

I, on the other hand, have cowardly hidden from most of the tasks. In keeping with my blogger name, massmarrier, I have fully played the role of solemnizer. That is, I got the magical certificate of one-day solemnization through the governor and secretary of state, and in this case, created the ceremony and vows. Unlike the previous two weddings I conducted, this was from scratch, both more challenging and more satisfying.

Vows note: Anyone wanting or needing a non-sappy secular ceremony should leave a comment with a request.

I just went through a photo box, hoping to find an image from his alleged first marriage, but failed. At maybe five, he and a classmate from Beacon Hill nursery school decided at a party at our place that they were ready. They called the four parents in and stood there holding a sheet above them announcing they had just married. I recently saw that she did it for real and now it's his turn.

We have three sons (queue the theme) and number one will marry first. Of course, as a parent, I see him in a continuity, not just as his adult self. I include a few of his younger self images here.

When I started this solemnization thing seven years ago, I did one a year. I kind of expected to keep the pattern going. Yet, this will be my third and not eighth. The first two were long-term friends and powerfully meaningful. This trumps those.

California recently copied our designated-solemnizer law. They outdid us in an important way. Massachusetts limits its ordinary citizens to performing one marriage a year. Not so on that other coast.

So in one week, I'll be a triple solemnizer. One could do worse.

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