Well, I am massmarrier and in a couple of weeks, I'll solemnize my fifth marriage here in Massachusetts — two same sex couples and three different sex ones. Sure enough, marriage isn't for everyone. I enjoy joining those for whom it is. I like to say my marriages last.
Another pleasure is the ever increasing acceptance of same-sex marriage. We here have had eight years of nothing but positive experience with homosexual couples as well as heterosexual ones marrying. We know the slight expansion of marriage rights is most certainly not a redefinition of the term. Unlike such crazies in oxymoronically named groups like National Organization for Marriage or the Massachusetts Family Institute, Those who support marriage and adoption rights for gay folk are in fact in favor of marriage and families. We don't want to hurt and hamper loving homosexual couples and we don't want kids in foster care.
Recently some of the pleasures of living here in this smart and open environment have cascaded. Last week, for example, I was chatting up MA Treasurer/Receiver General Steve Grossman at Boston Mayor Tom Menino's annual street party. His wife, Barbara, the Tufts Professor I had only met at Grossman's campaign kickoff a few years ago, was with him. She's also big on supporting marriage equality.
It came up because hubby and I were dickering on his next appearance on Left Ahead. She saw my Moo card and remarked on Marry in Massachusetts. Steve proudly noted that she'd long supported equality and was a long-term board member of Mass Equality. Bless her.
On this afternoon's podcast, 3rd Middlesex District MA Senate Candidate Mara Dolan and I shared personal vignettes on the subject near the end of the half hour. She's also a long-time marriage-equality supporter (no surprise as she's progressive and smart). She said that her father was gay and partnered for over 25 years. Her mother and stepfather have been married happily a similar period. Everyone is jolly...and rational.
As with my other four, I felt it would be cheating and insufficiently theatrical to get a mail-order ministry. I go through Massachusetts' splendid petition-the-Governor process to get a one-day designation of solemnization. An aide to Gov. Patrick notified me today that my certificate was in the mail.
For all the loudl folk who publicly find or feign finding fault with same-sex marriage, acceptance grows. I have long been open in my acceptance and support. That may make it easier for others, like the wife of the commonwealth treasurer or a candidate for senate, to proclaim their own to me.
Facts include that virtually everyone knows gay people. An increasing number of us know married and partnered gay couples. If we pay the least bit of attention and open our minds and hearts the slightest, we know there's no damage in legalizing their love if they want to marry.
I note again that I am aware that marriage is not for everyone. Many people I've known in straight and LGBT variations swear monogamy is unnatural or impossible, and the over 50% failure rates for straight marriage seem to support that for some people. Yet, how about supporting and enabling marriage for couples who do want it, who are willing to commit?
I'm not the person to push the disappearing pants option. I'm a long-term married who finds it the right state for me. If fidelity is not always the easiest way, it's easy enough and absolutely not impossible...and the rewards are many.
In a few weeks, I'll likely mist up as I pronounce another set of friends married by the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I love this. I am also buoyed by meeting more and more people who support letting couples who love each other marry.