Two Little Pigs, Two Little Mice

If we believed in reincarnation, we would have to wonder what evil we might have done in previous lives to have the current crop of also-runners in the Massachusetts governor's race.

We still have an Ivy Curtain separating the haves and have-nots in the commonwealth. The prep-school to IV or 7 Sisters sorts continue to run interference for each other and try to keep capital in the family. Traditionally, the governors emerge from this snooty set, with both the cash and connections.

Occasionally brains or force of personality has bubbled up an outsider. It certainly is that time again. Other than the Black man from the projects of Chicago, no one is worth electing.

We find it fascinating that the rich boy playing grocer, Christy Mihos, lacked the 'nads to attend the three-hour Southie S&M fest Sunday. Instead, control freak that he obviously is, he chose to roast himself in a series of puerile advertisements.

The Boston Herald describes them in embarrassingly adequate fashion. They are low-cost (a few thousand) and have the flavor of other low-brow, low-effectiveness advertising.

He would have gotten a lot more out of sticking around for the St. Patrick's Day breakfast. Then again, he would not have had control over the content. He also would have had to mingle with oi polloi. Icky.

The Herald reports that emcee Sen. Jack Hart told the reporter, "He missed an opportunity to have some free exposure. He could have had intermittently three hours of face time, and obviously a chance to speak.” The televised event had its biggest audience yet.

Coincidentally, the other rich kid Chrissy-kins, the Gabrieli one, shares the attitude of "I'm rich. Let me play. Right now!" He also shares Mihos' arrogance of no platform to speak of; so he doesn't bother. Then, he bypassed judgment in the caucuses, making him simultaneously unDemocratic and undemocratic.

The sorority girl playing cop, Kerry Healey, has some tacked together crime-buster set of generalities. She seems to overlook the economy, sucky schools, crumbling infrastructure and the other little details that only Patrick addresses.

She's as qualified to be governor from her current position as a stablehand is to compete in dressage. She can shovel but has never been in the saddle.

Finally, Tom Reilly wants to leap from do-nothing attorney general to do-nothing governor, just because.

Given repeated opportunities on high-profile issues, he has shown that his most developed trait is indecisiveness. He could have led in policy by advising on same-sex marriage before the court stepped in. Nope. In multiple highly questionable ballot initiatives on SSM, he could have aborted the obviously illegal ones, saving lots of time and money, while letting the legislature attend to real business. Nope. On the current RC Church whine that Catholic Chartities should set a precedence for commonwealth exemptions from discrimination laws and defining religious policies per group, he could have ridden like the cavalry, blowing the bugle of constitutional law. Nope.

We've had know-nothing, do-nothing governors, very recently in fact. No thanks.

So two rich brats and two incompetents want to be governor. Then there's the visionary with a real program and policy.

Think. Think. Think. What to do?